Why I falsely accused my mother

Why I falsely accused my mother

By Victoria Matranga

The reason I falsely accused my mother was because I loved the feeling of people rallying around me and feeling bad for me. I loved that everyone was worried and concerned about me. I didn’t care that I was hurting my mother, who has only ever shown me love, mercy, and understanding.

I was on a high, and I reveled in it.

I loved the undivided attention and concern. I never once thought about what my mother was going through. After a while, when one high would fade, I lied to get another.

I did it over and over again, and each time I did it, the lies got more serious and insane.

It never occurred to me that I was crippling the one person in my life who cared about me.

I didn’t remember when she showed me kindness for destroying her belongings. Nor did I recall all the times she spoke kindly to me after I threw huge Hulk-like raging tantrums and said foul and hateful things. I never once looked back at the moment when she looked deep into my eyes and said that no matter how much pain I was in, she would hold me till my pain was gone. In my mind, all that mattered was the high. I loved that with just a few words and a couple of crocodile tears, I could control other people’s emotions. I loved the ability to control and manipulate; the feeling it gave me was insatiable. I didn’t care about the repercussions I would eventually face.

Thankfully, I have come a long way through inner healing, lots of prayer, and living at the altar. Hopefully, my once attachment trauma behaviors can encourage other young people to become educated and self-aware about why they falsely accuse. I also hope my story can help adoptive parents who are dealing with kids like myself gain a better understanding.

For those who think they have attachment issues, I would encourage you to become self-aware, as I have. Educate yourself on trauma and Reactive Attachment Disorder.

Become an expert in Reactive Attachment Disorder, as I have.

RAD in adults can turn into some pretty scary diagnoses.

So fight for your healing!

Fight for your victory!

Fight for your freedom!

You don't have to suffer!

You can overcome it.

In my mother's words, "As long as you are still breathing, there is hope."

Trauma changes the brain, but so does healing.

I am living proof of that!

I remember when my mom came to me with tears and begged me to tell her the truth about why I falsely accused her. In that moment, I had two choices.

Choice #1: I could lie like I always did when she asked me.

Choice #2: Tell my mom the ugly truth, even if it hurts.

I chose Truth!

My truth helped heal her, and I hope my truth helps heal you.

I told my mom the ugly truth about why I behaved the way I did, and it did help heal her, and I hope it can help all the other adoptive parents dealing with children like me.

There is good news: you can overcome and find healing!

You don’t have to do this alone.

The Bible says:

Philippians 4:8: Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

Romans 12:2 And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.

You won't have to fight alone!

I am here fighting with you!

Love, your biggest supporter and sister in arms,

Victoria Matranga