False Accusations: Loving my accusers

I remember the first time I was falsely accused. It felt like a ridiculous modern-day witch hunt and a modern-day Joan of Arc burning at the stake. At first, the accusations shocked me. They were so absurd, they were laughable. But then that laughter turned to great anguish. The level of betrayal tasted like death. I was being accused of everything I was passionately against. I felt so misunderstood and confused.

I had heard of persecution but always assumed that it wouldn’t happen to me, even though scriptures clearly say it will. I had made the mistake of ignoring all the scriptures about suffering with Christ and counting it all joy when you face trials of many kinds.

I thought if I experienced any kind of suffering, I would be able to handle it.

But instead, I didn’t handle it.

I crumbled.

I fell apart.

For the first time in my life, I understood why people commit suicide over cyberbullying.

I’m convinced one of the hardest trials to go through is being falsely accused.

I have since realized that the reason I crumbled is because I didn’t know who I really was in Christ, even though I thought I did.

And I cared too much about what people said and thought about me.

I remember, before the attacks, one of my accusers wrote me a song. She also sent me thank you cards and emails thanking and praising me for my help in changing her life.

It was so shocking to see her flip from sending thank you letters and emails into a person bent on destroying me and my kids. I even had one person tell me she wanted to see me either dead or behind bars for life! I’ve had complete strangers, who have never even met me call me a monster. There have been people telling me my legally adopted kids weren’t really adopted but trafficked. I’ve had people I don’t even know make vile, outrageous and baseless accusations. I've even had strangers accuse me of trafficking children, when in actuality, our ministry has been a safe haven for trafficking victims.

I remember one time I grabbed my camera to video myself giving a statement to defend against these awful accusations. I had enough proof and information that would destroy my accusers. I was ready to let the world see it and read it.

But then I heard that still small voice:

"Pray for your enemies."

"Love your enemies."

"Be still and let me fight for you."

Ugh, oh how I hated hearing that still small voice; not what I wanted to hear. I could easily silence my accusers with the texts, emails, and proof I had. I knew things that would destroy their lives and reputations. I had picked up the very stones my accusers threw at me and thought I was justified and was ready to hurl them back at my accusers. I mean, I’m justified, right? They’ve picked up stones and created stones and have been hurling them at me nonstop, so why can’t I defend myself and fight back? I was ready to hire attorneys to send cease and desist letters over the defamation of character.

Why would I pray for someone who literally tried to destroy me?

Why should I love someone who is trying to hurt me and my kids?

Why should I pray for someone who is hiding behind a computer, lying?

Why should I pray for someone who is trying to stop the care of vulnerable children?

Why should I pray for someone who destroyed the chance for so many of my friends to adopt?

Why should I pray for people who, through their hate, destroyed innocent orphans' lives and chances of ever getting adopted?

I wanted to go all Madea and mama bear on them.

I don’t want to pray for evil people who sit behind their computers and promote hate.

I don’t want to pray for people who spew lies.

I don’t want to pray for people who are literally operating in witchcraft.

Yet here I was, being convicted with every fiber of my body.

But God... What about truth setting me free? But God... What about defending my character?

But God… what about speaking up for those who can’t speak?

I felt as if I were in a boxing match with God.

Everything in me was screaming at God, trying to justify my actions. I pulled out every quote about being a voice and justice that was inside me.

But all I heard God say was:

Be still and know that I am God.

I’ll defend you.

I’m already preparing a table for you among your enemies.

I’ll hide you under my wings.

Why do you care so much about what they say about you?

Why do you care more about what they write about you instead of what I've written about you?

If you start to pray for your enemies, you're going to begin to find yourself one day loving them.

If you want your heart to truly beat for what my heart beats for,

My heart beats for your enemies too.

If you claim to want to have your heart break for the things that break mine, then why won’t you let your heart break for your enemies?

I created your enemies.

I love your enemies.

What about the desire to bring healing?

Why are you so surprised about the attacks coming?

Didn't I give you plenty of warnings in my word?

Only I can fix your broken heart.

Only I can take away this pain.

Sure enough, as I began to pray for my enemies, that crazy love for them began to show up in my heart.

I admit sometimes my prayers were filled with...

God get them!

Don’t let them get away with this!

Awaken them!

Convict them!

Change them!

I wanted God so desperately to silence my enemies, but instead, God silenced me.

The Lord will fight for you, and you have only to be silent. - Exodus 14:14

I wanted justice so badly, but instead, God taught me what His justice was.

It felt so strange to be minding my own business, taking care of my children and ministering to vulnerable children, and then check my phone and see another mean text or another hateful comment. Some days were exhausting, thinking to myself, wow, I’m literally on the front lines holding children in a third-world, dangerous country while you are spewing accusation after accusation. It hurts to be so misunderstood.

At first, it felt impossible to forgive my accusers, but I had to reach out and ask God to show me how to forgive them. I sometimes had to borrow the same forgiveness that God used on me to forgive my sins and choose to forgive.

Forgiveness equals freedom.

Praying for those who hate me isn’t so hard anymore.

Because God’s love is healing.

Gods love is restoring.

Gods love is enough.

It feels weird to say this, but I love my accusers.

I love them.

I pray God reveals Himself to them.

I pray they feel the presence of God in their lives today.

I may never get the chance to restore my relationship with them, but I’ve often imagined what I’d do if I ran into them. Sometimes I wish I could write them a thank-you card.

Through their accusations, I was refined, literally, through the hottest flames of false accusations.

I'm forever grateful for them.

Through their accusations, I saw God sweep in and defend me as I stayed silent.

Through their accusations, a great repentance started within my heart and a revival within my heart that is hard to even find the words to express. Because of their accusations, my relationship with God and my inner circle is stronger. Because of their accusations, I found out what God says about me. I no longer seek the approval of man. Through their accusations, people all over who have known me since I was little ran to my rescue and ran to rescue these innocent children who became the actual victims of their attacks.

Through their accusations, a battle plan was created so I could help other ministries and ministers in the trenches of orphan ministry. Through their accusations, I started actually reading the whole Bible and learned about spiritual warfare. Through their accusations, God swept in and the ministry is stronger than ever.

I’ve now learned to use my voice in a way that honors God, like speaking up for orphans and widows. I want to use my voice to defend the orphan, not speak negatively about anyone. My voice will be speaking up for those who are being exploited, trafficked, and even falsely accused.

If you are being falsely accused, I would encourage you to fix your eyes on Jesus. Don’t be distracted by the accusations. Oftentimes, accusers accuse others of what they are guilty of. Be so focused on what God says about you, and the truth will set you free.

If you are an adoptive parent who has been falsely accused by one of your children, please message me so I can sit in those trenches with you and help support you. Because I know from firsthand experience that it's a whole other level of deep anguish.

If you are on the front lines in the ministry of orphan care and feel like you are being pummeled by the enemy, message me your story so I can war with you in prayer.

CLICK HERE FOR PRAYERS AND SCRIPTURES ON HOW TO PRAY FOR YOUR ENEMIES.